The phone rings incessantly. Hundreds of people are eager to greet me. The leaders of the Jewish movement request that I organize a general reception, a big public event. But I feel totally unable to socialize. Being with people causes me almost physical pain. I am totally devastated, turned inside out. The feeling of euphoria has given way to a sense of infinite weariness, fatigue, exhaustion. Everything is covered in fog . . . I feel as if my skin has been peeled off, and now even the slightest touch causes me acute pain . . . But people’s impatience is so great that without waiting for a public event, small groups come to my house one after another without invitation . . . After each meeting, I am absolutely exhausted. In the end, I decide it will be better to organize a big reception.
The whole apartment is densely packed with people. I recount for everyone the thrilling experiences of imprisonment, interrogations, threats, hunger strike; coping with extreme stress, internal mobilization, miracles, survival and resounding victory. I continue talking, excited, breathless, and unable to stop . . . I pour out my emotions, bitterness and stress. I am bombarded with questions. It is long past midnight, but no-one wants to leave . . .